Success/failure is not black/white

One of the beauties of ultrarunning and I guess life is that you live and learn. And they say you learn as much of not more from failure than success. And I think I agree.

Yesterday was the run “over the other side” for a 40 odd mile run along the south west coastal path in Devon. It was all planned, I had my friend Claire as my support crew, the two dogs were going to spend the day traveling with her to various support points. All that could go wrong would be my legs giving up, or I could fall off a cliff or something.

The landscape was beautiful and so much fun to run through. As I had never been there before it was like exploring as I went. The photos below really don’t capture the scene.

I set off around seven and was in a groove much sooner than I expected. I was expecting hilly and I certainly got hilly, with a mix of long drawn out drags and really steep stuff. It was all technical and I was loving all of it. I was alternating between shirtless down in the wooded valleys and a waterproof jacket up on the highest hills as it was drizzling up there.

Then the derail began. Not with the legs, not the heart or the head but upon reaching combe martin to meet Claire and pick up more food and water it was clear murph was an unhappy dog. He’s been on crew before and was fine but yesterday he wanted none of it. He was crying and whining all morning while I was gone. He was barking at people when parked up. He is a nervous dog because of his rescue past and it displays in ferocious displays of false bravado which to the outside world can be quite intimidating and frightening.

I continued on and at the next stop they met me on the path so he was happy to be away from people but as I stocked up and then moved on his crying broke my heart. Suddenly the joy of running where I was became joyless. I turned it all over through the next section which as it turned out got me near halfway. This was because Claire couldn’t get the van near enough the path which stressed her further. I was oblivious as there is no mobile signal. It seemed like a long leg but as I pulled into the next stop I could hear murph barking before I saw him and the decision was made. It was over there and then

The time to think on the last leg brought me to the only possible conclusion. I could continue in my own world and selfishly push for the 40 mile achievement I wanted so badly but only at the cost of the happiness of the others.

It was a no brainer. I checked how they all were and climbed in the back with the dogs and called it a day. I’m not going to lie it was disappointing. I was having the day of my life as far as running goes. It was all clicking along. I had a few back issues with the downhills but not enough to stop things. I was driving the uphills hard, too hard perhaps and who knows if the wheels would have fallen off eventually. It doesn’t matter because in the end it turned out not to be a day about running. Ultrarunning is about making decisions, hundreds of tiny decisions throughout the day all leading to success or failure.

In the end I only had to make one decision yesterday. And even if today I feel like a failure I know deep down making the right decision was the only way to really win.

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  The view the night before – “see those in the distance? I bet I have to run up those” Of course I did

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  Dawn looking back over Ilfracombe

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  View towards Waterford

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  Waterford harbour

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  Approaching Little Hangman

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  Some cliffs somewhere

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  That way – They have done a great job on signposting the path.

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  Up there – Now thats a longass uphill drag

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  But when you’re up there its great

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  Cairn on Great Hangman

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  The drizzle is coming in

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  Another valley

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  Oh look thats nice, a vertical path to get out of the valley!

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  Those dots in the path are the support crew!

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  Every drop was steep

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  Looking back

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  Looking forward – thats the path cutting halfway up the opposite hill – another longass drag!

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  But always worth it

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  Ummmm yeah – the correct path was actually new Zealand

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  Just run out of water and wouldnt you know your luck…

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  And this is where it ends

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  Fierce van guardians making sure anyone parking within 20 yards knew about them

Sometimes you need a few friends

We have just over 2 weeks left in the countdown to the run over the other side. Battling a sore back at the moment that just seems to tweak nastily every now and again. But then again when have I ever run a race without an injury so it’s going to be a fingers crossed and hope its ok on the day kind of thing, even if its not perfect I reckon it’ll be good enough.

So crew is sorted and we have a vague plan, its handy to have a friend who is willing to spend all day driving and meeting up with me and listening to me moan about how everything hurts. She’s seen it all before in my first 50 miler and doesn’t really give a shit as long as she gets to spend the day with the dogs.

Its a two dog adventure again and Murph will get to spend the day with his new best buddy Dug. We’ve been getting some training in but also enjoying the chance to to walk too with Dug, he’s a Romanian rescue and although not quite as damaged as Murph he has some issues that are being ironed out. Judging by the photo avalanche below you will see what I mean.

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  Dug is allowed off lead at the beach first thing when no-one else is around and we go mental – I’m not really trying to bite him but we playfight a lot

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  This is our dance routine opening

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  Oof – We playfight quite hard

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  But always best buddies

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  We went to Margam park one morning – we had to stay on long leads – Mainly cos we will both chase anything that moves

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  Chilling for once

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  I was very happy to try the back of the mini camper, Dug appears to be less excited

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  More zoomies

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  Dog wrestling

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  Headlock

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  Boxing…..

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  I will fend you off with my left jab

Released!

We were pinned at home by the storms over the weekend, nothing long was really possible so we made do the best we could. Sunday was utterly dreadful and it doesnt take long for cabin fever to set in. But this week is half term and so we took our chance on monday. Although we didnt mean to – I have a slightly dodgy back at the moment, I felt it pull while lifting but I figured a few miles to see the folks and back wouldnt hurt.

So off we went and although the wind was still strong it was just fine. We extended a little and then some more and then figured well we might as well go a little further which led to us covering around 10 miles or so and we got to see the damage to our forest – which turned out to be surprisingly little just a few trees here and there.

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  First blue skies for days – looking out towards Witches Point from inland

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  Trree down

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  Another tree down

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  Back along the beach

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  Happy to be back on the rrun

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  A different path – We are lucky enough to have a key and access to a prriovate path back from the beach

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  Normally we avoid people by running early in the day but today people were about as it was early afternoon so we used our key and slipped past them on the other side of the river

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  Murprhy rreturrning from a squirrrel chase

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  Flowers – sprring is imminent

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  We finished the day with a stroll though the fields at sunset

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  And I got a new bed – its huuuuuuge (I am spoiled)

The Other Side

I’ve lived alongside the Bristol Channel my whole life, it’s always been there and part of my life whether I’ve actively thought about it or not.  Where I have always lived has been bounded on one side by a wide strip of water, I’ve never really thought about it, it’s just there. Being able to go to the beach just a mile or so away has always been part of life and I’ve never considered actually how lucky I am.

And for all my life the opposite side of the Bristol Channel has been called “The Other Side” and I’ve never thought about that either.  People around here will say something like “It was such a beautiful day,  you could see the other side so clearly” or “You couldn’t see the other side because of the fog”  and everyone knows that the other side is simply the other side of the Bristol Channel.

I see the other side a lot as it’s visible from not only my home but also from the beach where I run a lot and the fields where I walk Murph.  As I say it’s just a geographical feature on the horizon but lately I’ve started thinking about it a lot more. Like what does here look like from over there?  And what does Foreland Point Lighthouse actually look like up close?  I can see this lighthouse – or rather in the early morning or late evening dark I can see it’s distinctive repeating 4 flashes followed by a pause.

And how much of over there can I actually see from over here. And can I run the length of all the other side that i can see? In a day?

So the blue dot is Monknash beach and the two red arrows mark the section of the other side I can see from “our side”  

Luckily (or not) the South West Coastal path runs along this section of coast too – in fact Minehead which will be my finishing point is actually the end of the SW path too.  So the plan is to run from Bull Point Lighthouse in the west to Minehead in the east following the coastal path.  A handy SW coastal path calculator tells me it’s around 43 miles with plenty of ascending and descending – One thing I learned about the SW coastal path while running an ultra on it a few years ago (on the south coast) is that it is rarely flat and there is a lot of steep climbing up and down into the coves.

Yeah – check out that flat profile …

17 hours is the walking estimate so I would be thinking closer to 10 or 11 but as ever it depends on so many factors. 

Timing wise looking at spring 2022 because it’s the best weather for both myself and Murph to be doing this kind of thing – He cant do the full distance but he could do sections maybe.  Well he could probably do the full distance but I would never make him try. I can make the choice to stop but he cant communicate that to me and I know he would just keep going. School holidays run from the 8th April 2022 to 25th. Easter weekend is the 17th so that’s one to avoid. Preseli is the 7th May this year and I’d like some recovery time between the two as I want to run the ultrabeast this year as it’s been a while and I know how hard that one is with the elevation too. I need to get some hills under my belt!

So it’s some consistent winter training coming u – Plan is to get after it avoid injury and stop the weather watching – Murph fetch your rain gear!

Consistency

I’ve never run with consistency, if I was to be honest it tends to be boom and bust. Periods of high milage and then injuries so I’m trying for some consistency this year – And right now i’m on a 14 day running streak. Some of those days are only 3 or 4 miles and I have this thing in my head that tells me it’s not far enough – and this time I’m going to listen to the other voice that tells me that if I am consistent then it is plenty.

Back to work tomorrow and the streak will end soon enough but let’s see how it goes as once again I have plans for this year – all to be revealed soon. But if I can stay healthy and get a decent winter training block in then all will be good.

So I hope everyone had a good xmas and all that stuff. Always remember that the days grow longer now, imperceptibly but they do and spring will be on the way soon enough so things are on the up even when they don’t seem like they are.

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  We’ve had some sunny days

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  And sun at dawn is the best

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  Also a lot of rain making the paths fun

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  You coming?

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  Many many stiles

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  Some beautiful dawns

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  Happy

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  Some wading required

Frisbee n Friends

Our weekend runs always include a visit to see Murphs friends now. Today we saw them first and then headed for the fields and the beach.

As the sun rose the day just got better and better. It was one of those runs where you never want to go home. 9 miles later we eventually finished – mainly so we could eat, drink and go out again later.

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  Dad also brought my frisbee to play with cos I don’t bother with the ball like my friends – but I love a good frisbee

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  My newest friend Dug turned up which was a surprise – we went a bit nuts together

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  Bodycheck!

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  So happy!

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  Off to the beach – along the cliffs to get there

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  Tide is coming in on our playground

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  Time to check out the rainbow

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  A little calm

Three Woods

Not the golf club three wood but rather our small three woods challenge. On our regular runs there are three seperate woods that we visit just not on the same run. Murph loves woods as there are furries to hunt and things to sniff. So I figured why not do a run that links up all three so he gets to visit them all in the same day. I had a vague idea it would be around half marathon length and would mean we could take in the fields, woods, cliffs, beach and the lanes.

Plus it was an excuse to take sandwiches and extra dog treats. Of course everything is easier in phot form so here goes the story of the day (spoiler its not that exciting)

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  Over the bridge heading for woods number one

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  Woods number one and the first stepping stones of the day

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  Out of the woods and up onto the cliffs – the channel is looking spectacular today. It always does when there are low clouds

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  Drop down here from the cliffs to run the beach as by now the tide had dropped off enough to get around

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  I know the sandwiches are in here

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  Woods number two – We don’t need a path right?

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  I knew it – Gimme sandwich

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  More stepping stones on way to woods three

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  Made it – tired but happy in woods number three

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  Sandwiches!

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  The road home

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  See the horizon? We have to go over that kiddo

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  Home and time for a snooze – It was just over 13 miles altogether

The difference a day makes

So on saturday it was raining, windy, cold and generally meh. However it’s never a waste if you’re out on the run. I try to learn new things, the general advice with effort and running is that you should be able to hold a conversation while running, if you cant then the effort level is too high. Bollocks I say, I have amended it to if you can run uphill into a gale while singing songs to your dog the effort level is not too high. I have an entire catalog of songs I sing to him, I make them up and then forget them and then make them up again, it makes the miles fly by trust me. What he thinks of it i’m not sure but he does tend to ignore me a lot so I think thats’s probably a clue.

Then on sunday we set out at dawn and what a difference, calm, still and so warm by the end of the run I was shirtless. It was one of those I could run forever mornings so I just kept tagging bits on so we didn’t have to go home so soon. And then we had been back an hour and it was just too nice to be indoors so we ran a few more miles up to see mum and dad (where I had to eat biscuits as I was bonking from not eating – I fed the dog but not me at home)

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  This was the general feeling on saturday – wet and muddy (we don’t mind really)

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  But sunday morning …..

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  We had the beach to ourselves (admittedly we get up at stupid O’ clock to get it like this)

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  We posed up on Witches Point for a while

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  Blue sky morning plus still plenty of splashing around to do

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  late afternoon chill

Lessons learned

Last few weeks have been a holding pattern – for much of the world I think. I was musing on the run the other day – last week was my birthday and that morning I planned to get up early and do a long run. I didn’t have much of a plan, it was more a case of throw some food and water in a pack and head out with Murph to enjoy the day before anyone else was awake.  As it turned out we did 17 miles and were out for 4 hours plus – which I was happy with, much of the route was beach and much of it was rocky so progress was slow but we loved every minute. Even when with an hour to go the heavens opened and the chill cut in.

I digress – I was musing about the lockdown and how I felt about it. I have friends who are frustrated, depressed and can’t wait until its over – Which is understandable. So I was trying to work out why I feel so relaxed about it all, of course I can get out with the dog that helps but I genuinely am content to sit and wait and sit and wait and sit and wait. You can’t rush this thing, you can’t fight it, you might as well punch fog. No point in being angry it just needs riding out.

And then I figured perhaps I cope because it’s similar in a way to ultrarunning. You grind through it, you chop it down to step by step, you don’t look at the ending, you can’t look at the ending because it’s so far away and that distance is overwhelming. So perhaps ultrarunning has taught me patience and how to deal with living in the moment and taking one step at a time. The goal will come, we will get through this, you can’t rush it, the finish line comes when it comes. You might as well do what you can to enjoy the ride. In last years 50 miler there were moments I wished for the end, 10 miles out I was praying for the line to come, it couldn’t come fast enough. I look back and I see the mistake I made. I concentrated on the end not the journey. It’s inconceviable to me now I did that, I would give anything to be out there right now 40 miles into a race but out in the mountains and in pain. To try to enjoy that last 10 miles instead of wishing them to end.

No those last 10 miles weren’t pretty but they could have been if I’d chosen to embrace them not hate them.  It might be a poor anology with people dying out there and losing jobs but times pass and we get one shot, embrace it all, even the shit bits.

Be Happy!

Dawn at the start of a long run on your birthday  … does it get any better

On the way home and hunting wabbits

We found new rockfalls

And we spent around 8 miles running up and down this stuff – blew my quads out

There were pretty forests too with bluebells

And even crowds cheering us on

No dog is an island

For mum and dad – these are this years blooms on Trepit Road seeing as you cant get out there at the mo!

Keep on truckin’

I guess when the world goes a bit mad you just gotta hop on for the ride. So I figured what with my parents (hi mum and dad) self isolating I should get posting if nothing else to keep them up to date and entertain …yeah ok so maybe not entertain so much. But photos are always nice right!

So still running – cos its something I can do out here and see and have no contact with anyone (not gonna lie isolation is something I like) plus the dog needs to be out anyway.  And with everything thats going on its good to be outside away from it all for a while. The good news – good news – whats that? Is that the body is actually holding up ok, things hurt but it all pales into insignificance right now anyway. Preseli obviously got cancelled so no ultra and fell races and thats the right decison.

So I shall continue to work away at my latest project which I shall unveil here – you are indeed the first to know – i wasnt going to ever mention it as it was just for me but it’ll give mum and dad something to follow. This year’s project is “2020 2000” which is in a nutshell my attempt to both run and walk Murph 2000 miles in the calender year. It’s a bit of fun and provides me a goal and doesn’t allow me to ever get lazy. I include both runs and walks because my body cant cope with a 2000 mile running year plus we also love the walks too. So far I’d say the milage is about 2/3 running to a 1/3 walking and im more than happy with that.

My sketchy records tell me to date We’ve done 424 miles which is good going considering the winter start, dark mornings and evenings and the awful weather. I shall keep you all updated periodically – I bet you’re on the edge of your seats eh? The only “rules” are that we have to do the walk or run together – no dog no count and it has to be at least half a mile to count.

Ok photos!

Bit of a small fall in the chalk section of the cliffs – Above is where the path was

Snowdrops!

No matter whats going on in the world there will always be a sunrise – dont forget that

Heading into the mists

Nature making shapes – just as the sun always rises the tide will always turn